Warning: You are entering the zone of someone trying to quit smoking!
Well don’t say I didn’t warn you. Wednesday, August 18th marked the beginning of Tobei and I quitting smoking. We have both been smoking for over half our lives. To share with you and to remind myself every day why I am doing this I am going to write it out here on my blog.
Why we are quitting smoking.
- Live longer and healthier lives for Little Man.
- Spend even more time with Little Man as we do not let him near us when we are smoking.
- Save +$20 a day.
- and the number 1 reason we are quitting….. ready for it? It’s a big announcement….. Once we successfully quit smoking Tobei and I are going to try to get a little brother or sister for Little Man.
What I personally hate about smoking.
- Knowing how bad it is for my son yet I still do it. It makes no sense to me on why I am so selfish.
- Having to keep Little Man away from me while I am smoking.
- Smoking is so frowned upon these days that I actually feel bad for smoking. Damn I hate to admit those stupid anti-smoking groups got through to me. I really hate giving them that satisfaction but it is true.
- The hassle that comes with having a smoke. Stopping on road trips, having a quick smoke before getting Little Man out of the car at the mall, and freezing my ass off in the winter when it’s -1,000,000.
So how are we doing?
Day 1 for me was actually quite surprising. I am cheating a little bit and still having my morning smoke for the first week. Sue me! It’s a process that needs to work my way. Also I can’t sleep with the patch on. Last time I tried to quit smoking it gave me nightmares so I am also having a smoke before bed. Tobei is also doing the before bedtime smoke right now but that is the only one he is having. He is quitting with the help of nothing but will power. Next week I will cut out one of the 2 smokes and the week after that go to no smokes. So that is how day 1 worked in regards to us quitting. The patch worked wonders for me. I wasn’t moody, sweaty or any of that. However I did have the cravings of actually inhaling the smoke. That was the hardest part for me. Eating wise I did alright, stuck to vegetables and fruit.
Day 2 was a different story. To those of you who were on twitter this afternoon you know that I failed and was really hard on myself. At lunch I snapped on Tobei for no reason. He got home and made himself lunch but not Little Man as he thought I already fed Little Man. I was so mad at him for thinking that and not making Little Man something to eat as well. How stupid is that? I then yelled at my dog for being in my way. I ended up taking off my patch and going outside for a smoke. I cried for the next 2 hours. I felt so bad for getting mad at everyone. Especially Tobei, he is doing it cold turkey and doing so well at controlling his mood swings, then here I went getting mad at him. How is that fair to him? It’s not. I also cried for 2 hours as I felt like a complete failure.
With the help of my twitter friends, e-mails from other readers who saw my tweets and an msn message from Cass I got over the failure feeling. I am not a failure. Quitting smoking is one of the hardest things to do and I had a hiccup. I did not go back to smoking normally today either. In total I have had 6 cigarettes today and will have one more before bed. That is a total of 7. Way less than the pack a day I usually smoke. Tomorrow the patch will go back on and I will try again. At least with what happened today and how I felt when I tripped I can remind myself of it to get through other rough times.
I do want to say I am so VERY VERY VERY proud of Tobei. No one ever thought Tobei would be one to quit smoking. He is though and he is doing so well. Yes the withdrawals are horrible for him, his hands shake, he is moody (though keeps it in and does not take it out on us), he is fidgety but he is doing it.