So maybe I shouldn’t say a telemarketer. It was the bank for an account I have and never use. I will call him a telemarketer though as he was a pain in the ass just like the rest of them. OK that may have been a bit mean to say. I do have sympathy for them. Hell when I was pregnant I was a market research agent AKA glorified telemarketer. I was one of those people who called you and said “Hi I just want to do a survey on your recent dealing with such and such a company”. But anyways I still hate dealing with them especially since I got enough bullshit to deal with in my life lately. This call actually happened a few days ago but I thought I would share it with you tonight since those I have told the story to get a good laugh from it.
B is bank dude, N is me. With that out of the way. Enjoy!
B – Hi, I am calling from “Bank” to see how happy you are with our services
N – Well I am not using your services. The only reason I still have an account with you guys is because I am too lazy to get off my ass and go to the branch to close the account.
B – Well even though you are not using our services now we would still like to have your input on how we can improve our services to help you and maybe have you bring your day to day banking over to us.
N – Ya that’s not going to happen and honestly I have much better things to do then have a conversation with you at this moment.
B – Well this won’t take much time at all ma’am (side note: I HATE being called ma’am)
N – Fine I will humor you. Ask away.
B – Well before we get started I need you to verify your account. Can you please verify the address we have on file for you.
N – No I will not do that. How about you tell me my address and I will tell you if it is right or not.
B – Ma’am we need you to tell us it so that we can verify it.
N – Nope not happening. How do I know you are really the bank and not some scammer trying to get my information.
B – Ma’am your address can be accessed by anyone just from looking in the phone book.
N – Well maybe I moved or maybe my number is unlisted. Sorry but I did not call you so I do not know that I am really talking to “Bank”. You called me so YOU tell me the information and I will tell you if it is right or not. Or maybe I won’t. Again you may be some scammer who got access to my information and is trying to verify it before you go into the bank to steal all my money.
B – Ma’am I can assure you I am calling from “Bank” and am not a scammer. I do however need you to tell us your address so that we may verify we are talking to Mrs. Last name.
N – Well I am sorry I did not call you and am not going to verify anything so we are wasting both your time and mine. Have a nice day.
CLICK! and I hung up before he could say anything else. He hasn’t called back yet. I wonder if they will.